I'm going to try out a new posting where once per week I vent my frustration with certain things or people (tech related or not) and see how it goes.
Today the target of my ire is Gears of War for the PC.
This ball of crap they try to pass off as a game is a sorry excuse for entertainment, let alone fun. Honestly, I only played for perhaps 10 minutes, but after that I was fully confident I never wanted to come near the game again.
What I got from the storyline is this: There's a war you know nothing about, you are Marcus Fenix and you were put in prison for doing something not revealed to you. Suddenly, you're rescued by an old buddy you don't know and are thrown into the action of escaping from the prison. Oh, also, you're somehow in the marines, even though this is obviously not the US, but whatever. After you get the tha choppa to escape the prison you're treated (a very loose use of the word bt-dubs) to an aerial view of some sort of steampunk/post-apocalyptic world in which this things called "grubs" (but look just like people wearing stupid armor, just like you) are at some kind of war with people for the planet (assumedly). The short helicopter ride makes you realize that if HDR had a cock, GoW would be cupping the balls. Don't get me wrong, when implemented correctly, HDR can be a nice addition to games. Unfortunately, I don't think I've ever come across a studio that knows how to use it correctly. I mean, come on, just because there's a giant flaming ball of gas in the sky doesn't mean you should be blinded simply because you're in a sunbeam. Also, for random complaints, you can get shot about 100-500 times before dying. Also, to my knowledge, there are no such things as head shots (>implying headshots are possible with the crappy over-the-shoulder aiming system) and on top of that your gun has a chainsaw attached to it. Where some people might view the chainsaw thing as awesome, I greet it with a solid "meh", as I'd rather be blowing Russian heads off with a Dragunov.
In conclusion, never play GoW, unless you love your face being assaulted with ghey, metric tons of bad character development, cliche storylines, and character models shaped like tonka video game characters (
Can you tell the difference?).
